Second Chance at Life, with Kel Jackson
Introducing Kel
Kel’s book club recommendation: Man’s Search For Meaning, by Viktor Frankl
Kel is the founder and coordinator of Women’s Adventure ACT, inspiring women all over the world to find adventure through authentic connection with community and the great outdoors. Nominee for 2022 Australian of the Year, she is known as a humble Australia hero with a deep and rich life story, adventure unicyclist and advocate for women. Through Women’s Adventure ACT, Kel helps to facilitate personal transformations for the women in this group as they try new things and challenge themselves to goals they never thought they could achieve. For those wanting to bring more adventure into their own lives, her advice is to firstly, “just say yes!”
What was your life like leading up to jumping on a unicycle for the first time?
I studied accounting, got a MBA, and spent my career working as a manager and accountant in the public service. By 30, I still didn't have a passport. I decided to take an 18-month sabbatical off work to go and travel, which really opened my eyes. Looking back, it was my first time taking a bit of risk, and it was one of the best years of my life.
Life was mostly steady, if not a little boring. So I was shocked when hit by an emotional tsunami.
I was in a really challenging relationship and managing a difficult staff member, plus dealing with other personal issues. I was pushed to a point where I couldn’t move past the emotional pain, and ending my life seemed like the only option. Thankfully, a really close friend helped me out and I got some professional help. It took a couple of years to recover, and during that process, I realised I had a second chance at life.
The day I decided to live was the day everything changed. I felt like I needed to do something to acknowledge my second chance. And so this ridiculous notion of unicycling the world began.
What changed for you when you took that second chance at life?
Mortality, and what that means for each of us. The reminder that we've only got a limited amount of time. We should each try to make the most out of our life - whatever that means to us - while we can. You only get one life, so go out and do something with it.
Tell us about beginning your unicycle adventures.
During my sabbatical, I did a yoga retreat. The woman running it asked what was next for me, and I just blurted out, “I want to unicycle around the world.” Just blurted it out! When she asked me why, I said because I didn’t think anyone had done it. How amazing would it be to be the first person in the world to do something?
At the time, I actually owned a unicycle that a friend bought me 10 years earlier, but I’d never tried it. I’d sit on the unicycle sometimes, for a few minutes, feel like I was going to die falling off it, and put it back in the garage.
The woman from the retreat said, “why don't you get a tattoo of the date for your trip?” As soon as I got the tattoo, it drove my life. I was absolutely committed to my trip and wasn’t bothered that I couldn’t unicycle yet. It was really hard to learn, and took me a year of committing every spare minute of my life.
What was the moment you knew you could do this?
I'll never forget the day I asked my friend to film me riding in the park. It was a really significant moment for me because, up until then, I couldn’t bring myself to ride away from a handrail. As soon as I rode across the park that day (away from the handrail), I thought, “I can do this now.”
I got back from my sabbatical, and after 19 years in public service, I left my secure job and dedicated my life to planning this trip.
Of all the places you could go, how did you decide where to do your first big unicycle trip?
I was already set to participate in the Great Cycle Challenge, raising money for kids with cancer, and my partner was going to Taiwan for a holiday. She suggested I go with her after the Cycle Challenge, thinking it would be a nice place to ride. I thought it might be a good credibility check, since I hadn’t done a big trip yet and still didn’t know if it was even possible.
I needed to do something that would make me believe in myself. I set a goal that if I could raise $2,000 for the Cycle Challenge, then I'd unicycle the length of Taiwan - in actual Taiwan. Less than 24 hours later, my friends had already beaten that goal.
I rode 500 kilometers in 10 days in Taiwan, and thought, “wow, that was really hard!”
My friend, Lucy Barnard, who has been walking the length of the world recently, said to me, “it's your trip; make it however you want.” I settled on one long trip each year, adding up to around the world.
Where did you take your unicycle next?
After unicycling across Taiwan, I was ready to plan my next ride. I decided on South Korea, but then wondered, “actually, has anyone ever ridden a unicycle across North Korea?”
I found a tour company that takes people into North Korea on their bicycles, and asked them if I could do the tour on a unicycle. They said yes; it was really simple! But after I finished unicycling 560 kilometres in South Korea, I was told I couldn’t bring my unicycle into North Korea. I was already there and couldn’t leave it behind, so they agreed to let me bring it on the condition that I could only ride it in car parks. I figured, unicycling in car parks in North Korea is still unicycling in North Korea, so off I went!
We’d go to a tourist attraction, I’d take my unicycle out of the van, do a couple of laps around the car park, and then we’d head to the next attraction. It wasn’t the trip that I had imagined, but it was definitely quirky. I mean, going to North Korea is unusual in itself, but unicycling around 14 car parks in North Korea? That’s awesome.
Having had these adventures, what inspires you?
I’m inspired by people steering their own personal journeys towards challenging themselves and growing. It doesn't have to be Mount Everest; it can just be watching women grow and learn. Coming up with their own goals, and then striving to reach them; that’s super inspiring.
Through my own journey to be more adventurous, I joined a local women's outdoor group that my flatmate was running. Of course, all of the well-known adventure women out there are inspiring too, but I think that the ordinary women from our group deciding to go out and do things is really inspiring.
Was there a particular moment when you felt reborn into your second life?
It was definitely finishing my Taiwan ride. It just felt freaking amazing, because I’d done it. It wasn't around the world, but it didn't matter. I'd gone and done this ridiculous thing; I'd learned how to ride this stupid unicycle and I'd given up my job for it.
I cried the first day I finished, because I didn't think I was going to be able to do it. It was so challenging… but I said to myself, “just keep going, just do one more day.” 10 days later, I had ridden across Taiwan.
Where I decided to finish the ride was actually pretty funny. The thing that saved me throughout the entire trip were 7-Eleven stores. They were air-conditioned, let me recharge my phone, get food, and they were everywhere - there are more than four thousand 7-Elevens in Taiwan. So naturally, I finished my ride at a 7-Eleven.
What role does community play in your life?
I had no sense of community when I started out on my adventure journey. My anxiety made it challenging to reach out to others, but I managed to join a unicycle club which brought me back into a community. I also started doing activities with my flatmate in the women’s adventure group.
Along the way, I learned how to give back. I think when you start to give back, you focus less on yourself. It's good for everybody.
When my flatmate asked me to take over the women’s adventure group, I felt it was a way I could keep giving back to the community, so I said yes. The group had about 800 members when I joined, and now we have almost 4,000 in the Facebook group and around 1,500 in the Meetup group. It’s great.
That’s a lot of women looking for adventure! How do you do it?
I use my management experience from my accounting days, when I managed a lot of staff and had a lot of responsibilities. When I took over the adventure group, I quickly established a set of values and principles. We now use these to drive how we interact with each other, the kinds of things we do, and the kinds of members we have.
In leading a group or creating a community, you have to start from your personal values. If you're not clear on what your own values are, then you’ll be directionless in life and won't be clear about why you're doing what you’re doing. With my unicycling journey, I’d ask myself, “why am I doing certain things? Do they align with my values? If they don't align with my values, then why am I doing them?”
It’s similar for community groups. Every community group should be setting their values from the bottom up, speaking to what it means to be a good member and how the group will work.
What are some examples of adventures the group likes to take?
A great spot to go to is Wheelers Hut in the Kosciuszko National Park (Australia). It’s a bit challenging to get to, but it’s gorgeous. It’s a timber hut with a lookout over the valley where you can watch the sunrise; it's just magical.
We also love the quirky trips, things we haven’t tried before. Anything that involves beautiful countryside, is personally challenging, or just something a bit different.
Most importantly, we try to keep group sizes reasonably small, with a maximum of 12-15 people to make the groups more personable. The connections we make are just as important as the activities we do.
What’s it like to be in an adventure group exclusively for women?
While we love our male partners and relatives, we do find that in women’s groups, we don’t have male egos wanting to take over tasks and be the hero. It tends to be a lot more supportive and cooperative.
We also have less people using the group as a dating opportunity; yes, that can happen with same-sex, but it tends not to as much. It's just women enjoying other women's company without feeling that pressure of a man trying to flirt with you.
Our group of women enjoy getting along and talking to each other, rather than anyone trying to dominate. Too often, we defer leadership to men or we let them take over. When there are only women present, we have to learn how to lead ourselves. They're really valuable skills that you can then take into other community groups and/or the workforce. A lot of women bring these skills back to their families, so instead of relying on their male partner to go camping, they now feel confident to pack up the kids, car, and off they go. It’s empowering.
What kinds of personal transformations have the women in this group experienced?
Women join our group for lots of different reasons, with all kinds of stories. Sometimes, they join because their kids are grown up and they've lost who they are. Sometimes, they just want the company of walking with other women.
Others have joined us from really shitty situations. One woman’s partner had just died, and she was craving social interaction. She’d never really done outdoor stuff before, but since joining us a couple of years ago, she’s done heaps of bush walking and even walked the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
Often, women start by joining us for different reasons, and then they experience a transformation.
We had an older woman who wanted to join our canyoning adventure, but she couldn’t swim. The trip involves a lot of abseiling down waterfalls and is pretty full-on, so instead of not going, she went out and got swimming lessons - just so she could go on this canyoning adventure. That was huge for her.
Another woman had come from domestic violence, and had never done any of these outdoor activities. She’s now done an ultra-marathon.
We have a lot of stories of transformation. Someone even described our group as a gateway drug to finding yourself. Truly, that's what it is, because you come along thinking you’re just going to do a simple walk with a few other women, and next thing you know, you're doing an ultra-marathon in the desert. That’s what happens - you never know who you’re going to meet or who you’ll become inspired by. You just might go on to do things you never thought to be possible; that's the remarkable thing about it.
Do you have any advice for women who want to bring more adventure into their own lives?
First of all, just say yes! If you have to think about it, then you’ll talk yourself out of it. Just say yes, join, sign up, and then go, “oh my god, what have I done!?” Many women assume they’re not capable of things, and talk themselves out of it. So just say yes, and then try it, and what you’ll discover along the way that you can actually do it. You can.
My other tip is that an adventure doesn't have to be huge to be an adventure; it doesn’t have to be climbing Mount Everest. An adventure could just be turning up to meet a group of women that you don't know, or trying something that you wouldn't normally do. We sometimes have this idea that we’re only adventurous if we do some huge thing, but that simply isn't the case.
What’s next for the adventure group?
Back when I first joined the group, I had no aim of doing anything other than just keeping it going. Not long after that, participating in it myself and witnessing other women's stories, I realised that there is a real need for groups like this. People are getting so much out of it. So I applied for a grant and bought some gear for the group. After that, it just took on a life of its own.
I do wonder, what if we could make this Australia-wide? What if we could make it like the Scouts, but for adult women? It’s not just about the experience, because you can pay for an experience anywhere. It’s about learning new skills, like starting a campfire or learning navigation, and continuing to develop them with a supportive group.
If there are women here who want to be a part of this group, then there are women all over the country who would want to be a part of it. So, how can we turn it into a self-sustaining group that’s still accessible and based on community? After that, what else could we do?
Where will you take your unicycle next?
I have an adventure to unicycle across the Nullarbor Plain planned for next year, which is keeping me busy. From Perth to Sydney, it’s about 1600 kilometres, making it my longest ride yet.
Do you have any book recommendations for living your best second life?
Viktor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search For Meaning, taught me the concept of hope. Viktor was an Austrian psychologist and prisoner at Auschwitz during the second world war. He observed that the people who had realistic hope of getting out were more likely to survive.
What resonated for me was really about working towards something that gave me focus, attention and a reason to leave. That’s the real message: hang on to hope, because that’s what’ll get you through.
So, for anyone else experiencing difficulty, I would say to pick something that is absolutely ridiculous to do. Don't pick something easy, because easy is not going to get you out of bed every day. Go for something big, and it doesn't matter if you don't reach it, because the lessons you’ll learn along the way are the real value. It's not about the achievement in itself, it’s what you learn along the way.
A metaphor that really helped me is the shit pipe. In The Shawshank Redemption movie, a character has to crawl through a shit pipe to escape prison. For me, that’s what two years of emotional trauma felt like; I had this shit pipe to crawl through and I just had to keep going to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. I got there in the end.
A lot of people struggle to move passed the fear of trying new things. What advice do you have on encouraging others to go beyond their comfort zones?
All I can do is talk about what got me through, and there were two critical pieces to that.
The first piece is identity. If you want to do something, then you have to develop a sense of future self, which is what the adventure group became to me. I wanted to be this unicyclist and adventurer, but being an accountant wasn’t getting me there. So I had to create a whole new identity that drove everything I did. If you don't have a sense of future self, then it doesn’t matter how much you try, you'll never get there because you don't identify as that person.
The second piece is dealing with fear. Yes, you have to consider real risks, like what if I run out of money or something goes wrong on the trail. But then there’s the fear stuff in your head, like what are people going to think? Write that stuff down and then chuck it in a fire, because it really doesn't matter. You don’t want to look back on your life when you’re ninety and regret not doing something important to you.
Encouraging people to lift the limitations they put on themselves is really important. You have to figure out what you want your life to be and then design it that way. Start with the end in mind. Have the courage to try new things, and then you can work everything else out along the way as you become that future self. Even if you don't know where to start, just pick something and try it. You’ll learn and grow along the way.
From steady life as a public servant to unicycling in North Korea, how has the concept of what’s possible changed for you?
There's no way that I would have thought about any of this before. I had a safe job, and my life was just going to work and doing things on weekends. I never thought I could create the life that I wanted, and I certainly didn’t have the courage then either.
It was the moment of almost dying, and realising, “if I don't have the courage to make a change now, then when?” Confronting that fear gave me courage. I couldn't have even grasped the concept of doing all of this once upon a time, but now I'm like, “bring it on.”
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