Lost in The Woods, with Melissa David

Introducing Mel

Mel’s book club recommendation: Rules of Belonging by Fiona Robertson 

Melissa is a Northern California native who grew up on the beaches of Santa Cruz and the romantic streets of San Francisco. Recently, she was a finalist for The CEO Magazine awards and a Stevie Award winning marketer. She is the founder and CEO of Melissa David Enterprises, Co-Artistic Director at Brooklyn Runaways, former Vice Chair of Democrats Abroad in Victoria, Co-Founder of Expat Women at Work, and Co-Founder of Antipodes Theatre Company. She has been an Advisor for She's the Boss, Mentor at Business in Heels, Member at One Roof, investor in Emotions, and supporter for We Aspire.

Tell us your story. What shaped who you are now?

Being a child lost in the woods, naked and covered in face paint. The isolation, survival, and adventure aspect of my childhood definitely shaped who I am now. No, I wasn’t raised by wolves, but by an eccentric, gypsy mother who let the moon guide her. I knew what it was like to live in a house with vaulted ceilings and lots of traveling. I also knew what it was like to live in a campsite and hide money from my mom so we could eat.

By the time I was eighteen years old, I had lived in eighteen different houses. I’d been working two jobs since I was fifteen. The inconsistency and adventure of my childhood made me equally brave and street smart. I can make a dollar last a year, and I can jump at an opportunity. Someone said recently that the winners in life are the ones who are brave enough to take risks, because they are willing to deal with the consequences. I’ve experienced trauma, lost my parents, and have had no money. I came from a mentality of nothing to lose.

I find it difficult to share my personal story. I find that when people learn about who you are, they try to put you in a box or judge you. They try to find the magic ingredient for the madness or the success, so that they don’t have push themselves in their own journey. Saying to themselves, “I don’t have the same given circumstances, therefore I cannot achieve anything.” This to me is madness. 

For hundreds of years, countless of women have sacrificed and dedicated their entire lives to empowering other women, so that women could have options and opportunities they otherwise wouldn’t. We now have the opportunity to achieve things that they could only imagine in their wildest dreams.  

Even though I may seem like a public person, I tend to keep my personal thoughts and past to myself. I always worry that I am not good enough or that I am not actually helping anyone, that people are just being nice.

What role has your mother played in your life? 

She was a fire that could not be put out. She was an adventurer, an explorer, and most importantly an independent woman who wore work boots before women wore boots for fun.

I apparently was trained on how to pack my own suitcase by the time I was four. I would forget things and she would consider it a lesson. By the time I was five, I could read maps, pack suitcases, cook basics, and put myself to bed. A lot of people were shocked with how my mother raised me. I had a 10:00 PM bedtime and we moved around a lot.

The truth was that she figured out that I was a night owl from an early age, and by the time I was eleven, all of our moves had to do with me. We moved for better education opportunities or for my extreme interest in theatre.

I was listening to a Gloria Steinem interview recently, and related to how she spoke about her childhood. She said that when she was little, all she wanted was a classic childhood like the movies, but now with age, she sees her actual childhood as a gift. I feel that way now. My childhood with my mother was a gift. It taught me to explore, be independent, read maps, and never be afraid of the unknown.

She died thirteen years ago from breast cancer, and I am curious of what she would think of me now if she were still alive. I’m curious how her life would have turned out if she had the same opportunities and education that I did. I think that way about a lot of women in the past. If they had the world at their fingertips like many of us do now, what would the world look like today?

I once had the opportunity to thank Gloria Steinman outside of a Broadway theatre, where we had just watched Waitress. I waved and said “thank you, Gloria.” She smiled and waved back! The girl next to me said, “wait, who was that?” I said, “To be honest, I’m not completely sure, but I know that many of the freedoms that I have as a woman today have a lot to do with the work she did for us in the 60s and 70s.” 

What did you want to be when you were young? 

I’ve wanted to be an actress for as long as I can remember.

For most of my childhood, I went to art schools that specialized in theatre. I’ve studied Shakespeare, Chekhov, Pinter, and Noh theatre since I was fourteen. I have a four-year BA and a three-year MFA in theatre, and have truly had some of the best education in theatre that person can have.

I have been in over forty-four productions, two TV shows, and two feature films. I have an agent in New York, and perform off Broadway. I am now one of five founders of Antipodes Theatre Company here in Melbourne, which is three years old and has been nominated for several awards.

I got to do the thing I wanted when I grew up. I have no regrets. Now I’m thinking, “what do I want to be as a grown up?”

When I moved to Australia, I transitioned into the business world because there wasn’t enough traffic for me to be a performer here right away. I’m grateful for this, because it showed me an entirely different version of myself.

My entire life, I had been laser-focused on becoming a NYC actress. There was no going outside the lines. To become a professional respected actress, I had to be the monster of perseverance. I was all of a sudden no longer that.

I had to learn who I was without that the one thing that had defined me my entire life. Now, I am in a place of what do I want to do with the time I have left on this earth. I am lucky enough at this moment to have the space and time to do that, to ask that question.

What are you up to now? 

Currently, I’m running a little digital agency. I’ve decided to write a book - well, two books: one creative and one business. The creative book will be a poetry book, even though I am not really a poet. The business book is a, “working for yourself/working for others” how-to guide.

I am writing these books to inspire women. I want to inspire women to be creative, even when they think they aren’t. I want to inspire women to write their own books, even when they think they have nothing to say. I want to inspire women to start their own businesses, even when they think it is impossible. If I can do it, trust me, anyone can. I’m not special, just brave.

What is your biggest fear at the moment? 

I’d say the climate. I’m a nerd who checks the Worldometer website every week. We are only at the beginning of the year, and the forest loss, land loss to soil erosion, CO2 emissions emitted, increase in desertification and toxic chemicals released into the environment have my brain in a panic.

I feel silly sitting here, designing a digital campaign for clients, when it doesn’t matter what we do if we don’t have a planet to do anything on. I’m starting to feel very Greta Thunberg about it all, and I’m starting to panic.

I feel like the first part of my life will be fighting for women in leadership, and the second part of my life will be fighting with the women leaders for climate change. Either that, or it will be too late and I’ll be living in a mountain with a shotgun.

How do you manage your time? 

Even the most capable among us struggle with managing time these days. There are so many external additions to the equation, no matter how much you try and control them. So the short answer is, I don’t.

I don’t manage my time; I trust myself instead. I have learned over the years that I like to finish things. I know that my habits will always kick in and I will finish something. So instead of wasting time worrying about things that need to get done, I just go with the flow, and things get done faster and easier. I have never been a procrastinator, so I know I won’t be.

I remember the best piece of advice that my mother gave me when I was little. I asked why I had to do my homework and go to school. She told me, “you need to play the game, so that one day you can make your own.” From that day on, I looked at school and work like a game of monopoly: to play the game, until the game starts working for you.

I realised that if I got my homework done when I first got home from school, I could relax and really enjoy my playtime, because I wasn’t stressed about things that needed to be done. If my house is dirty, I just clean it, because I know how I feel after I clean. Instead of sitting for hours dreading a task, I just do it. I always say to myself, “it doesn’t need to be perfect, it just needs to be done.”

What has your experience been winning a number of awards this year?

I find the word, “award” to be strange. Remember when Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize? But he hadn’t done anything yet? That's how I feel. I’m talking about the feeling of winning awards and getting recognized for potential vs. actual work.

People see potential in me; now I just need to figure out the best way to use that energy for good. Being a finalist for CEO award magazine felt like a glimpse of what my future life could be like: award shows, wearing clothes designed and made by women, meeting important people, speaking for the future, traveling... I know this future is mine if I want it. I just need to figure out if I want it.

I wrote Obama a thank you letter when I was graduating from my Masters, in his last year in office. He actually wrote me a letter back. He said, “I am inspired by strength and resilience that come across in stories like yours. Optimism, even when times are hard, is the birthright of our nation, and when we summon what is best in us, no matter what comes our way, we can persevere.” It sits on my desk as I work, and helps me get through my darkest days. 

What do you hope people will learn from you? 

That a moment of kindness or joy can change someone's day, life, or future. Taking ten seconds out of your day to care about someone else is all it takes.

I try to connect with every single person I come into contact with during the day. In the morning, I’ll remind the person making my coffee that it was delicious and that they are doing a great job. I always thank the tram driver for getting me somewhere safe.

When did we stop talking to each other? I always compliment the elderly lady alone on the train, because I hope someday someone will notice me when I am alone on the train. You never know when someone lives alone, or when the last time they spoke to someone was.

If someone has a name tag, I use their name. I try to make people smile. At each event I go to, I try to bring joy into the room. I always try and leave a room better than when I entered it; I guess my mother also taught me that. We used to go for walks on the beach a lot, and she would always have a trash bag tucked in her back pocket. If we found trash, we would always pick it up. She told me to always leave a place better than when you found it, I guess I translated that into people. The glass we picked up from the beach made the most beautiful art.

It takes nothing from you to be kind. In fact, it only gives back to you; so be kind.

Find Melissa David Enterprises

Website: melissadavid.com

LinkedIn (Melissa David Enterprises): linkedin.com/company/melissa-david-ent

LinkedIn (Melissa David): linkedin.com/in/melissa-marie-david